Thesashakaychronicles.blogspot.com

Monday 15 January 2018

Is depression Real??

is depression Real? Or are people just taking it to the extreme??


I woke up this cold morning with the sound of my brothers voice, pacing, worrying and tossing up things in the air! Well he had been posted to sokoto for his 3 weeks compulsory camp exercise, who could blame him? Anyways! Trying to distract myself, I reached out to my phone to read the news online for today, one post caught my attention, it was a post  about a lady who was crying out for help...................
 I wondered, I thought what women want, is to "meet" a man, fall in love, get married, have babies and have a happy ever after, Oh well, not certainly a perfect "happy ever after" but at least something fulfilling! Alas! Little did I know.
Anyways back to it!!
The post was about how she was depressed after giving birth to her "bundle of joy".
I was like "oh no" you ungrateful woman! She probably let the devil creep into your heart, I bet she doesn't pray often,I bet she's just so needy for attention!  hmmmm!
  Words of a Typical Nigerian that I am naw.....lol!
But then! after a few seconds I decided to go into a body transit mood, I imagined myself being pregnant and giving birth!
Then it dawned on me, I literally went crazy!
I stood up, looked myself in the mirror and thoughts started crawling in....
Imagine your whole life changing, my tummy filled with marks from expansion, my nipple swollen and hurting from breastfeeding, my baby crying in need of attention or breast milk, husband wanting my attention, the sleepless night,
    God! Will my body ever be the same??
 Will he still love me the way I am, will he still see me as the sexy woman he drools over when I undress! Will my vagina still make him climax and call on heaven? Will I ever find peace and 8hrs sleep,
  I know you just sighed and said " oh shuttup sharon!!!! that's the sacrifice you make as a woman!!
But then this little things builds up and gradually drives a woman crazy and eventually into depression...
     
      "the sacrifice, the hurts, the    
      change, the sleepless night,   
        the cries and the endless.
        house chores"!!
Ahhhhhh!!! And then one day, you see evidence of his cheating
 ( yes you know ya'all do this *rolls eyes* don't look at me like that" *snaps fingers *)
And that moment your whole world drops on your face!!
Tears dripping down her cheeks! She just realised all her sacrifice and changes still can't keep a man!!!!
 She looks at her beautiful baby and her home!!!
She knows she can't leave because her mom will chastise her and make her watch "war room" the thousand and one times! "Damm I just realized I hate that movie!
She prays her hearts out hoping he will change but he just gets worse!
 After two more kids! Arrrghh!
It got worse, the marks and saggy boobs,
Oh my world! *Sobs*
Am I being vain??
But shouldn't I think of myself too?
Oh yes! I know the kids comes first now!
But what about me? am I now a dwindling shadow not worthy of admiration?
Shouldn't I feel happy too?
  And then her friends tells her about surgeries that will make her look sexy again!
She looks it up online! 3million???
Will hubby give me such money?? I bet a typical African husband will see that as vanity! *sigh*
I mean if he can admire such women, why not invest in his woman as well??
It's just tummy reduction, breast lift and fat transfer to the butt, nothing artificial right?
*Sigh*
I know someone just snared and said go to the gym!
You know no amount of gym can give you that, so shuttup!!
 Arrrghh!! I hate those little voices in my head!
 She sees this as a ray of hope, she daydreams about it and try to save up for it since hubby won't help out!
Months later!
She had saved up,
told hubby that she will be needing 3 weeks off!
Hubby angrily asks?
What for?? Scolds her, calls her mom, mocks her and the idea!
She tries to defend her ideas, he pushed further, he sees she was adamant!
He then brought the "sword"
"Young woman!!! If you step a foot out of this house, don't bother coming back!
At this point , she fell on her feet and cried!
 A deep ocean of sadness rushed through her soul!she asked herself?
But why? I just want to feel good again and also look pleasing to you once more!!!
And maybe you wouldn't cheat on me again!
 He shrug! Looked at her and said,
  "Ehhheemmm I've told you already ooh! Don't come back here if you leave this house"
*Sigh*
She picked herself up, turned around!!
Calls her friend!
She says"
       "Honey, don't worry, just ignore him, focus more on the kids and business, he would come around"
Come around you say?? It's been 2years after these words!!
Let's just keep on praying!!
Months goes by, she turns to aunty Nkechi"
Looking like the shadow of her former self, always lost in her thoughts, husband was a mere live in partner, lost in a strange land far from home! No friends to talk to but her pastor, who keeps encouraging her to fast and pray and that God hates divorce! Hmmmmmm........
  
After she the kids had gone to school, she decided to take a long walk to clear her head, she got to the bridge, joggers and corporate workers passing by! She stopped,
 wrapped her arms around her chest and then a thought crept in
"What if I just jump and end it all"
   No!! no! no! That's the devil,
   oh my goodness, I rebuke such 
  thoughts, shook and in utter confusion she hurriedly walk past the bridge , confused and livid,  she collides into a passer-by !
Oh dear! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, she could see the look in his eyes, the look of pity and that of mental patient!
Not again!!!
And then,
She saw his eyes lit up and scream!!
Oh my goodness!!
Watch ouuuttt!!!!
She looks forward and then!

Silence!

3 comments:

  1. Quite insightful!
    But the article seem like a struggle between two characters! And I guess she had an accident at the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the feedback!more better articles ahead!

      Delete
  2. Women you guys are trying oooh, I can't imagine going through this, you need to see my sister perform drama when it starts, hot water, agbo, bitters, white drugs!! All go full table...

    ReplyDelete