Tradition or Burden?

Whenever I come across pictures of this people online, I get fascinated and wonder if they are real, like! can this be real? Or is it just an illustration, So it made me do some research and i found out they are natives of Ethiopia and are called The Mursi (or as Munas which they refer to themselves) they are a Nilotic pastoralist ethnic group in Ethiopia.     They principally reside in the Debub Omo Zone of the Southern Nations, Nationalities, and People's Region, close to the border of South Sudan. According to the 2007national census, there are 7,500 Mursi, 448 of whom live in urban areas; of the, it is Surrounded by mountains between the Omo River and its tributary the Mago.        The home of the Mursi is one of the most isolated regions of the country. Their neighbors include the Aari, the Banna, the Bodi, the Karo, the Kwegu, the Nyangatom and theSuri. They are grouped together with the Me'en and Suri by the Ethiopian government under the name Surma.The Mursi speak the Mursi language as a mother tongue.It is classified as Surmic, which is a branch of the Nilo-Saharanlanguage family.

  Now Like many agro-pastoralists in East Africa, the Mursi experience a force greater than themselves, which they call "Tumwi" this Tumwi is their god, which is usually located in the Sky, although sometimes Tumwi manifests or show itself as a thing of the sky (a hi a tumwin), such as a rainbow or a bird. The principal religious and ritual office in the society is that of the Kômoru, kômoru is the Priest or Shaman. This is an inherited office. The Kômoru makes sure of the well-being of the group as a whole and acts as a means of communication between the community and the god (Tumwi), especially when it is threatened by such events as drought, crop pests and disease. His role is characterized by the performance of public rituals to bring rain, to protect men, cattle and crops from disease, and to ward off threatened attacks from other tribes. Ideally, in order to preserve this link between the people and the Tumwi, the Kômoru is not allowed to leave Mursiland or even his local group (bhuran). Life cycle  The Mursi undergo various rites of passage, educational or disciplinary processes.Lip plates are a well known aspect of the Mursi and Surma, who are probably the last groups in Africa amongst whom it is still the norm for women to wear large pottery, wooden discs, or ‘plates,’ in their lower lips. Girls' lips are pierced at the age of 15 or 16.

Occasionally lip plates are worn to a dance by unmarried women, and increasingly they are worn to attract tourists in order to earn some extra money which is quite disturbing, according to a Erica a tourist traveling  blogger of "as her world turns", she says these female kids at the age of 15 are made to wear this lip plates, their front teeth are broken to create passage, their mouth cut open, the male don't go through this, it's a circle that is now affliated with monetary no longer culture.

Ceremonial duelling (thagine), a form of ritualised male violence, is a highly valued and popular activity of Mursi men, especially unmarried men, you know like those spartan sort of fight where one dies,  and a key marker of Mursi identity. Age sets are an important political feature, where men are formed into named "age sets" and pass through a number of "age grades" during the course of their lives; married women have the same age grade status as their husbands.  

Femicide

One beautiful morning, I was going through some articles and one caught my attention, femicide!! The facts and stories behind it really brought a dark cloud of sadness over heart, I read a news about a young girl who was allegedly beaten and killed by her boyfriend during a supposed dispute over her pregnancy. This case brings to light the overwhelming violence brought against women throughout much of the world.

This violence against women, the killing and maiming of women solely because of their gender, has been coined femicide.

It’s important to distinguish femicide from homicide, as most research conducted in countries with high rates of femicide don’t consider them as such.

Femicide is the sexist violence against women because of a patriarchal system that believes in the inferiority of women themselves.

It’s a crime that discriminates. It is not just the murder of women, but the murder of women because they are women. In many cultures and societies, this violence has long been accepted and encouraged.

And even now, when many countries have created laws against femicide, this violence is still all-consuming.

There are many different forms of femicide, but they all involve the beating, mutilating, torturing or killing of women and girls because.

The different forms of femicide include honor killings, dowry killings which is very common in India, intimate femicide aka south Africa food, non-intimate femicide, genital mutilation, infanticide common in Cambodia , sex trafficking and many others.

It’s important to stay informed on matters such as these, and the first step to doing so is understanding these issues, where these killings are most committed and how to put an end to it.

Here’s a list of five countries where femicide is most prevalent in the world today.

Argentina

The murder of Chiara Paez outraged the country of Argentina, and sent thousands of people into the streets to protest.

Stories of other women killed or beaten because of getting pregnant, having sex or other reasons connected to their gender, flooded the media.

It sparked protests that began in Buenos Aires, but spread through Chile, Uruguay and up to Miami, FL. According to La Casa Del Encuentro, 31 women are killed every hour in Argentina, omg!! and 1,800 women have been killed since 2008.

Argentina has one of the biggest problems with femicide, and these protests are hopefully going to bring about justice.

El Salvador

According to the Small Arms Survey, El Salvador is the country with the highest femicide rate.

And while femicide is considered a criminal act in El Salvador, fewer than 3 percent of these cases are taken to court. Most of these killings fall under the intimate femicide category: acts commited against women by their partners or family members.

And, most of these acts are due to the woman having sex before marriage, having sex outside of marriage or being raped.

The cases of femicide have only increased, averaging to about 600 cases in 2011. The numbers aren’t decreasing.

India

The type of femicide most prevalent in India is dowry killing, or the killing of a woman by her partner or members of her partner’s family, because she wasn’t able to bring a big enough dowry into the family.

Then there is the killing of young girls, simply because they are not boys. This killing is also known as infanticide, and according to studies, 21 percent of girls between the ages of 1 to 5 won’t see their sixth birthday.

And, infant girls are 50 percent more likely to die than boys before their first birthday. In many cases, girls grow up to become victims of more domestic violence than their male counterparts.

This abuse is a result of deliberate neglect by the family for the simple fact that they are female and have "less to offer" than men. Also the high rate of rape in India is scary, do you know it got to the extent of these Indians going to maternity ward to rape women who just just put to birth? Shivers*

And it is the lower class who suffer this the most, then again it all boils down to this extreme poverty. 

Honduras

In Honduras, femicide is also widely committed. And while intimate femicide is a large problem, an even bigger problem facing the country is the high rate of child sex trafficking, in honduras, many young girls are forced into sex trafficking to either pay off debt for their parents or bring in income for their parents, the country has no way of protecting them, even though child protection laws exist.

Many of these children need shelters and need the government to enforce these laws, but the children are left unprotected.

In many cases, they are killed. Extrajudicial killings (illegal killings sponsored by the government) of young children, especially young girls, has risen from 447 in 2009 to 1,068 in 2011.

Femicide is considered the second leading killer of women in Honduras. Honduras ranks third on the Small Arms Survey, in terms of highest rates of femicide, and these sexist killings are going unreported and unresolved.

Mexico

Mexico is another country where the sexist killing of women is an issue that has gained major attention recently with stories of women like Rosa Diana, Dulce Cristina Payan and Barbara Reyes.

According to the National Citizen Female Observatory, six women are killed due to their gender every day.

The murder and mutilation of women has been on the rise since the 90s, and it’s only getting worse.

Women are often found dead after having had their breasts cut off and/or their bodies brutally, sexually abused.

Most of the perpetrators are husbands, boyfriends or family members.

And, the biggest problem facing the country in regard to these horrific crimes is the lack of government intervention on behalf of these women.

Between 2012 and 2013, only 24 percent of femicides were investigated. Of those, only 1.6 percent came to a conclusion with someone arrested and sentenced.

There is too much violence in Mexico and not enough government aid, and because of this too many women are killed without remorse.

This is just a small sample of the countries where femicide is a nationwide pandemic. Some others include South Africa, Guatemala, Columbia, Brazil and the Russian Federation.

These countries report severely high levels of violence against women, with little to no policies protecting them, or the ability to enforce the laws that do exist. But, even the numbers we have don’t necessarily show the truth.

Most of these statistics are grossly inaccurate. These countries don’t accurately report the number of victims, due to lack of awareness or general disbelief in the illegality of femicide itself.

This violence can’t continue, and it is our responsibility to do everything we possibly can to end these careless murders.

What can be done? The World Health Organization has some ideas.

For starters, it’s important that better information be taken down in relation to these heinous crimes. More effective records need to be kept based on the newly evolving, legal definition of femicide.

Femicide as a criminal act has already been incorporated into legislation in many countries, such as Chile, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala and Mexico.

These are some of the countries with the highest rates of femicide, but unfortunately, in most of these countries, the laws prove useless in prevention. Example is south Africa, evert hour a woman is being killed in south Africa, it is so sad because it is mostly crime of passion due to the high rate of idle beer drinking men.

They are only effectively enforced when women are killed, and even then, the subjectivity that surrounds the term makes it harder to win a conviction.

There also needs to be more effective sensitivity training for police and health workers.

They need to know what to look for; they need to be able to see growing signs of violence before they lead to death.

There need to be stricter gun laws, as many of these women were killed as a result of gun violence. When a gun was introduced into the home, women were three times more likely to be killed by it.

In countries with the highest rates of homicide, over 60 percent of the women killed were killed using guns.

But, most importantly, what we can all do right now as we read this article is raise and strengthen awareness.

The more people who know about it, the more people can stand up, have a voice and fight for the rights and the safety of these women.

When I was young, I watched a documentary on CNN about Cambodia and I am yet to get over it, an investigator disguised himself as a pedophile to get details about child trafficking, he found out how parents give their 3yr old kids out to Caucasian tourist for sex in other to get money, the influx of Caucasian into Cambodia is so high that it is now known as the home of pedophile tourist! They dressed this girls with short skirts and skimpy wear, full face of makeup and also Penetrate them, most female kids don't live up to their 10th birthdays in Cambodia,  this sickening act is said to be influenced by the alarming rate of poverty! The country is so poor that parents don't mind giving their babies up to these demons to defile.

 We can only hope and pray for them!

Am I feeding cancer?

Sugar Ant.🐜
A lot of people love all things sweet. Be it from salt or sugar. But the body is one strange thing; it has ways to tell you when you’re treating it right or wrong.
    Sugar is sweet yet dangerous when taken in large doses. So, in the spirit of good will, I’m bringing you some ways to know that the sugar intake in the body is much; here are a few pointers to know;
1. Bad Breath
       In the first place, sugar itself is a major cause of bad breath and it is bad for your oral health. It is also responsible for tooth decay, cavities and gum diseases. That is why eating too much sugary foods increases the activities of bacteria in the mouth. The best ways to deal with this is to start taking little or no sugar at all, brush after eating anything sugary especially before you go to bed at night.

2. Weight Gain
     Sugar also contains a lot of fat so it is only natural that the body will increase in weight when it cannot break down the fat. Besides, if you overly consume sugar, you’re fast getting on your way to being obese!

3.Poor memory
       Lack of concentration and poor memory/memory loss come as a result of high sugar consumption. High sugar intake fires up the sugar level which slows down the brain after cutting down on the energy it needs to function properly. In the end if sugar consumption is not controlled, this can be a major issue.

4. Immune system
      Eating too much simple sugar can negatively affect your immune system for up to 5 hours after you eat it , according to AskDrSears . com . An excess of sugar blocks your immune system from functioning properly and diminishes the ability of white blood cells to fight bacteria . In contrast , complex carbohydrates do not have these effects . Dr . Sears reports that just eight tablespoons of sugar , or 2 1/2, 12- ounce cans of soda , reduces your immune system 's ability to fight germs by 40 percent .
Almost everyone has experienced energy surges and dips after eating simple sugars as they are broken down quickly in your body . While not everyone has the same reaction to sugar , sugar - sensitive people have drastic “ sugar highs ” from adrenaline surges after eating sugar and “ sugar lows ” associated with low blood sugar . These effects can lead to behavior problems , difficulty paying attention and trouble learning .
5. high blood pressure
       Similar to consuming too much salt , an excess of sugar can lead to high blood pressure in men , according to the American Heart Association . These results are associated with fructose , the type of sugar found in table sugar and added to many products , and are not related to another type of sugar : glucose . However , high blood pressure from sugar occurred in men consuming much more fructose than the amount found in the typical American diet.
 
6. Lastly it affects our back and cuts short the life span of a person, I could remember back in school, during the heat period, I find myself taking up to 3 bottles of soft drink a day,  "coke cola" to be precise, "my goodness" the relief it gives when the sweet coldness hits your tongue and goes down your stomach, ahhhhh! I thought I was enjoying,  little did I know I was killing myself, I found out the sugar goes to my back and breaks it down, I had waist pain, back numbness, dizzy spells  and weak bladder due to the amount of sugar in my system, it can kill literally! Also sugar is the number one food for Cancer, the more sugar we take, the healthier the disease becomes while the host withers.
   So next time you go to the restaurant, request for water instead of soda!
Eat lots of complex sugar instead e.g fruits and ceareal.

And forever live a happy healthy life! 😊


Source:
Hildah.
Information Nigeria.
Dr Sharon therein
Livingstrong.

P.s will be having a busy day guys, I will enable comments when I'm less busy, thanks for your patience! Xo.

How can i make money in a 3rd world country?

ways to make money in Nigeria.



This is one of the  burning question, asked consistently by Nigerians, how can I make money in this country? A country where there is no constant electricity,  cost of shop rent skyrocketing, bad roads, and high cost of foreign exchange and bank interest rate.
Well after a few research, I was able to draft a few!



1. Event planning business
This agency provides a full range of services for ceremonies, do you know the rate at which one can get that major bucks with just one good deal? It is usually stressful and you might end up catching sore throat but at the end? You get to smile at the bank, but hey, you have to start by getting that little jobs to build up your portfolio,  what do you need as an event planner
1. Contacts of vendors who are into rentals of equipment and materials needed
2. Contact of a good dj on speed dial
3.florist
4.caterers, you need at least 2 contact, tested and trusted
5.contacts of  good sound systems guys
6. And you need to print out your cards and lastly open your business page online to promote your job
7. Lastly, and most important in promoting your business page, a good phone or camera. Everyone is a  lover of good pictures, it catches the eyes like sugar to ants.



2. Horticulturist
flower growing business is now the new big deal, omg! Do you know how the craze for flowers for events are now? Flowers for birthday parties ,  flowers for bridal showers,  flowers for bridal showers, flowers for weddings, engagement and the list is endless.
things you need to know and how to start.
1. Have a natural skills a florist require or hire one
2.learn the trade of florist, even if you hire a good florist, you still need to understand the business
3.learn the risk and benefits of opening a flower shop
4 learn how to control your temperature in your location, the optimal temperature to store flower shelves is 34 to 36°F but some flowers do best at 30°F
5. Picture, pictures, pictures.... u can never overestimate the immense importance of good pictures, this will attract your potential buyers.



3. vendors and event coordination
This is one of my favorite, tho it cost much to start, but the end game is a total pay off... smiles* you can make cool cash on these rentals weekly   without lifting a finger.

Things you need.
1. A good space with air and also well secured, you don't want to wake up one morning to find out all your items are gone oooops* faints*
2. You can start with 30 chairs, 5 round tables, 2 big cooking pots, 2 big spools, two long wooden food stirrer, 5 metal food server trays, 5 metal food dishing spoon's, 5 metal food table server plate trays, 2 canopies, 5 food preservers aka (coolers) 50 ceramic breakable plates, 50 metal eating spoons, forks and knives.
3 chair clothing's, you need to get a good tailor who will make you the table clothes and chair clothing , pick two unique colors that catches the attention of people that they can't resist e.get black and gold robe tie, burgundy and pink is another to die color,  army green and mustard Yellow.
4. You will need help from people setting up these items and also a reliable driver who will help deliver the items
5. Put a sign post ,this will let people know about your business, print out cards as well.



5. Online shop
The virtual market could be interesting even in an economic meltdown. People won’t stop buying food, clothes, shoes, and cosmetics. Experienced businessmen recommend trading both online and offline. This expands the circle of customers and allows you to increase sales.
However, for the beginner entrepreneurs, it’s highly recommended to start from online. In this case, you can try to find your target audience and figure out, what kind of goods you would sell. If you see that you have some additional resources, and you have a strong demand, then you can try to go offline. A small showroom in the shopping center is a nice offline extension of your online business.



6. Mini-importation business
Importing products from different countries is an excellent option for personal business. Obviously, considering the fact that Nigeria imports literally everything we consume.



7. Blogging
Among the many types of Internet earnings blogging (the creation and promotion of a blog or website) has gained maximum popularity. Although both the site and the blog is an intellectual development in which the owner invests his emotions, ideas, time and money, it requires much more attention, and the level of profit from the blog will be directly proportional to the efforts spent on it.
To develop, create and promote your site or blog you have to put maximum creative efforts. Quite frankly, this goal is entirely achievable, since this business is very lucrative, and brings an average of several thousand to several million Naira a year.


8. Lounge
Formally, a lounge bar is a kind of mini hospitality business, especially for stand-alone lounges that are not part of hotels. The word lounge can be generally attributed to anything from bar to billiard room. Lounge bars are usually designed for wealthy customers and offer refined drinks and expensive dishes, they often organize VIP rooms, live music etc. Talk about a money maker!
READ ALSO: How to make money as a student in Nigeria


9. Bookmaking business
You can start in the bookmaking business, having an area of ​​only 6 square meters. So you open one window with a cashier. It is quite enough to try your hands in this business. From the equipment you will need:
1. A computer.
2. A printer.
3. A copier.
4. Internet access.
Also, you have to think about software for receiving bets. Here there are two options, either the licensed program is bought or the program is written by the skilled programmers. A bookmaker's office is nothing more than a sports exchange game. This type of operations is one of the most profitable of all known short-term financial instruments.


10. Transport business
Buying some types of freight vehicles can automatically make you owner of a small business involved in the freight industry. Of course, you still have to find your clients and make some investments in the advertising. But, the main point of this business is that your wheels can make you lots of money.
What kind of car you have to buy depends on what kind of cargo you will be transporting. Therefore, in the very beginning, you have to probe the nearby market: what is carried more often? In prospect, you can hire additional drivers, buy new freight vehicles, and expand your business through different regions.

11. Travel agency
Tourism business is dominated by two kinds of players: tour operators and travel agents. The first is engaged in the development of tours, and form a price for them. Travel agents are doing less work, selling ready tours.
For a beginner travel agency, it is important to determine the target market which it will work with and the specialization of the tours that it will sell. According to experts, at the initial stage, the main thing for the firm is to survive the off-season. Send at least 500 tourists abroad, then, in the second year of operation, the client base will grow.
It is better


I hope you enjoyed reading and you were able to find your perfect niche.


* written and edited by sashakaychronicles, while some content were culled from opera google ad*

Dysmenorrhea

I read an article about dysmenorrhea and I wondered! Could this be my problem, do I have a disability unknown to me? Memories came Flashing back to my early days as a young girl, I remember being scared of boarding school, my thought? Who will nurse me to bed when the pains start, who will make me hot tea to ease the pain, so many thoughts......
 2004 September, the day I got admitted to most talked about boarding school, I was so happy, finally leaving home, no more errands, I was happy mostly because I could see the snare on my elder sisters face, she had no one to torture or send unnecessary errands anymore, oh dear! She sends the most ridiculous annoying errands, like get me the remote, get me water, get me my phone, help me get my legs off the stool for me " ahhh" I'm so weak!! Bla bla bla......
 i could only curse her out in my dreams, I remember seriously punching her in my dreams, I loved every moment of it, till I woke up with the struggling voice of my mother trying to detach my punching fist from the pillow" she was worried I would grow up aggressive, she never knew I was just mad at her Eldest daughter.
 These her little errands boil my temperature to a thousand Celsius! But then I would miss her, but hey! not more than her annoying errands.
    
Two months later, I woke up with the most hurtful abdominal pain, oh my goodness, have I been stabbed in my dreams?
 was I raped? hurriedly I Jumped off my bunk, knelt down in search of what to cover up , hurriedly tied around my waist my moms old wrapper which I had taken with me,
 straight ahead!
     i went to my school mother,
 short of words,
      " aunty Thelma, I don't know what's wrong with me, it wouldn't stop,
she says "what's not stopping?
 At this moment I was embarrassed to say" she lifted up her eyes and held my shoulder, pulling me aside "what's wrong? Speak up I have morning sanitation meeting with the other prefect" I murmured the words " my...my... Stomach hurts real badly, she replied" are you bleeding? I said "yes and it hurts"....
She took me back to the hostel and gave me a little snack with some painkillers!
    hmmmm i have become a woman my mom says, dont go near boys oooooh!! else you will get pregnant!
I said "mama what about the pains? Oh don't worry baby, it will subside as you get older! A deep *sigh* of relief came over me like ice water on a sunny day!
 I wasn't going to suffer for long!


18years later, a graduate and an MSc  on the way! I find myself still struggling with the pains every time of the month, I would drown my self in pain killers, to the extent I now have partial ulcer due to its side effect of long usage, I resulted in taking "Alomo bitters" an alcoholic bitters sold here in the western part of Africa! It helps but I end up reeking of alcohol before the birth of a new day!
   Before securing a job, I would ensure the working hours are flexible and I wouldn't have to be walking around or doing anything strenuous, I would select and select till I find the one that suit me, I find myself hating every job eventually.
when the time of the month comes, I would dread going to work,
this 8-5 wasn't working for me oooh, i Told  my mom,
 all day I would stare at the clock till 5pm...the restroom had become my companion, when the pain starts I will lock myself in there and cry my eyes out!
I couldn't function anymore, I would tell my boss beforehand when the first day starts, that I would not be able to come, he noticed my plight and made sure not to insist because he had witness my suffering on an occasion! You need to see the tantrums I threw, he had to let me go oh! Ah!
   I had attended a seminar organised by my friend, about the society and its disability! In his words "Anything that deters you from
functioning properly in a society is a disability , if you have to check in with your health before doing something its a disability"
Oh boy! It just clicked in my head, I think I have a disability" this dysmenorrhea is actually a disability, all my life it had stopped me from functioning properly, whatever I want to do, I had to check on it first, if it falls on the days? I immediately cancel it.
 did I choose to go through this ?No
    All I can do is manage! I even heard birth will make it go, oh well " my little ones didn't solve it" they just gave mummy stretchmark's! Which I wouldn't trade for the world.



  *written and edited by* thesashakaychronicles.blogspot.com


*Inspiration from Mrs laide*



Dont forget to leave your own experience and views concerning dysmenorrhea thanks!
   

blurry eyesight?

do I need glasses? 😢
Am I already getting bad vision at this early stage of my life? Would I be needing glasses? Is this genetic or I'm just worrying unnecessarily,
These are the numerous questions often asked by people having blurry visions.
Most times its just due to lack of vitamin A,  exposure to dust or long usage of digital lights from our phones and computers!
   even with eye drops and other numerous eye medic care, there is little or no improvement!
    while growing up, I realised I had started  experiencing blurry vision, my little box was filled up of empty little rubbers of eyedrops,
   one certain festive period I  travelled to the village with my mom, my grandma noticed my constant twitching'
She yelled at me to stop scratching my eyes and told me to go to the tap, put it on, bend with my eyes wide open for the water to run over it every morning and before bed!
I did so and got some relief!
But how long?
So I decided to embark on a research On the importance of fluid to the eyes.
 what does water really do to the eyes?
You already know that its healthy to drink water, but do you know that drinking water Doesn't  only benefits your whole body as a whole, but really helps your eyes? Because your eyeballs are organs and water is essential for each of your organs to function well, eyes included!
 now the question is, what do your eyeballs really do with that water?
These act of lubrication allows your eyes to do everything, from producing tears to focusing, the eyes should always have fluid present. Without proper hydration, your eyes lack the fluid they need to clear out debris(with tears), to blink comfortably and even to see without straining, your eyes are the happiest when there is plenty of liquid in there to keep things clean and operate properly.
So why not try having two glasses of water in the morning, pouring tap water while your eyes are wide open during bath times.
One may ask, why tap water?
Well its because it is the purest,devoid from chemicals.
 so! Why not try it out today? It wouldn't hurt to give it a try right?
i await your feedback. Who knows, you might not need glasses after all 😊
Xo!

Is depression Real??

is depression Real? Or are people just taking it to the extreme??


I woke up this cold morning with the sound of my brothers voice, pacing, worrying and tossing up things in the air! Well he had been posted to sokoto for his 3 weeks compulsory camp exercise, who could blame him? Anyways! Trying to distract myself, I reached out to my phone to read the news online for today, one post caught my attention, it was a post  about a lady who was crying out for help...................
 I wondered, I thought what women want, is to "meet" a man, fall in love, get married, have babies and have a happy ever after, Oh well, not certainly a perfect "happy ever after" but at least something fulfilling! Alas! Little did I know.
Anyways back to it!!
The post was about how she was depressed after giving birth to her "bundle of joy".
I was like "oh no" you ungrateful woman! She probably let the devil creep into your heart, I bet she doesn't pray often,I bet she's just so needy for attention!  hmmmm!
  Words of a Typical Nigerian that I am naw.....lol!
But then! after a few seconds I decided to go into a body transit mood, I imagined myself being pregnant and giving birth!
Then it dawned on me, I literally went crazy!
I stood up, looked myself in the mirror and thoughts started crawling in....
Imagine your whole life changing, my tummy filled with marks from expansion, my nipple swollen and hurting from breastfeeding, my baby crying in need of attention or breast milk, husband wanting my attention, the sleepless night,
    God! Will my body ever be the same??
 Will he still love me the way I am, will he still see me as the sexy woman he drools over when I undress! Will my vagina still make him climax and call on heaven? Will I ever find peace and 8hrs sleep,
  I know you just sighed and said " oh shuttup sharon!!!! that's the sacrifice you make as a woman!!
But then this little things builds up and gradually drives a woman crazy and eventually into depression...
     
      "the sacrifice, the hurts, the    
      change, the sleepless night,   
        the cries and the endless.
        house chores"!!
Ahhhhhh!!! And then one day, you see evidence of his cheating
 ( yes you know ya'all do this *rolls eyes* don't look at me like that" *snaps fingers *)
And that moment your whole world drops on your face!!
Tears dripping down her cheeks! She just realised all her sacrifice and changes still can't keep a man!!!!
 She looks at her beautiful baby and her home!!!
She knows she can't leave because her mom will chastise her and make her watch "war room" the thousand and one times! "Damm I just realized I hate that movie!
She prays her hearts out hoping he will change but he just gets worse!
 After two more kids! Arrrghh!
It got worse, the marks and saggy boobs,
Oh my world! *Sobs*
Am I being vain??
But shouldn't I think of myself too?
Oh yes! I know the kids comes first now!
But what about me? am I now a dwindling shadow not worthy of admiration?
Shouldn't I feel happy too?
  And then her friends tells her about surgeries that will make her look sexy again!
She looks it up online! 3million???
Will hubby give me such money?? I bet a typical African husband will see that as vanity! *sigh*
I mean if he can admire such women, why not invest in his woman as well??
It's just tummy reduction, breast lift and fat transfer to the butt, nothing artificial right?
*Sigh*
I know someone just snared and said go to the gym!
You know no amount of gym can give you that, so shuttup!!
 Arrrghh!! I hate those little voices in my head!
 She sees this as a ray of hope, she daydreams about it and try to save up for it since hubby won't help out!
Months later!
She had saved up,
told hubby that she will be needing 3 weeks off!
Hubby angrily asks?
What for?? Scolds her, calls her mom, mocks her and the idea!
She tries to defend her ideas, he pushed further, he sees she was adamant!
He then brought the "sword"
"Young woman!!! If you step a foot out of this house, don't bother coming back!
At this point , she fell on her feet and cried!
 A deep ocean of sadness rushed through her soul!she asked herself?
But why? I just want to feel good again and also look pleasing to you once more!!!
And maybe you wouldn't cheat on me again!
 He shrug! Looked at her and said,
  "Ehhheemmm I've told you already ooh! Don't come back here if you leave this house"
*Sigh*
She picked herself up, turned around!!
Calls her friend!
She says"
       "Honey, don't worry, just ignore him, focus more on the kids and business, he would come around"
Come around you say?? It's been 2years after these words!!
Let's just keep on praying!!
Months goes by, she turns to aunty Nkechi"
Looking like the shadow of her former self, always lost in her thoughts, husband was a mere live in partner, lost in a strange land far from home! No friends to talk to but her pastor, who keeps encouraging her to fast and pray and that God hates divorce! Hmmmmmm........
  
After she the kids had gone to school, she decided to take a long walk to clear her head, she got to the bridge, joggers and corporate workers passing by! She stopped,
 wrapped her arms around her chest and then a thought crept in
"What if I just jump and end it all"
   No!! no! no! That's the devil,
   oh my goodness, I rebuke such 
  thoughts, shook and in utter confusion she hurriedly walk past the bridge , confused and livid,  she collides into a passer-by !
Oh dear! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, she could see the look in his eyes, the look of pity and that of mental patient!
Not again!!!
And then,
She saw his eyes lit up and scream!!
Oh my goodness!!
Watch ouuuttt!!!!
She looks forward and then!

Silence!